Being back at work is not causing me any stress, its watching my 90 year old parents growing old and deteriorating that is difficult to watch. My father has been totally out of it over the past few days. He has no idea of the day, the time and he doesn’t believe I am who I say I am…..his daughter. My mother, blind and very quiet, speaks up when my father becomes verbally abusive. Sometimes, I just want to laugh that she can put it all together and tell him what’s reality.
Its so hard to watch them die a little bit each day. We’ve tried to give them everything they had requested for when they get older but the words sting. Medications are not always the answer but it makes him zombie like and he still can’t get out of it. I don’t want to grow old like that. The worst part of it all, is the fighting between my brother and I. We can’t seem to be on the same page. I want a divorce from my siblings. I want my life back after my parents are gone and I want very little from my brothers at this point. It feels like a lonely battle uphill but thank god for my girlfriends who keep me in reality with a bottle of wine and food from gino’s.