Comments on: Parenting http://www.aradicalsabbatical.com/2007/11/16/parenting/ Hearing loss, sabbatical, life, love, friendships and aging Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:57:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Kim http://www.aradicalsabbatical.com/2007/11/16/parenting/#comment-64 Kim Mon, 19 Nov 2007 06:17:49 +0000 http://www.aradicalsabbatical.com/2007/11/16/parenting/#comment-64 WOW! This was powerful! In so many ways I think most parents and children grow through difficulties together. I too was angry with my parents for many years. I believe that's normal on one level, and probably compounded by the things your parents went through. What happened to them impacted their relationship with you. I was angry with my my parents for different reasons. Then one day last summer my mom shared something so profound it took my breath away. I never stopped to think how it was for her, or that she actually regretted her own actions to THIS very day. Then I counted back and realized -- My God she was much younger than me when certain things happened. She did the best she could with what she knew. She loved me and parented me the best she could. That's all we can ask. I know you've been a good daughter to your parents, even though you feel anger inside. Relationships can be so complex. In your case, though, I guess the anger is not so much at your parents but at the situation that caused your parents' suffering and the loss you suffered because of what your entire family lost? That's much worse. I wouldn't expect you to be free of anger. I suppose the hard part is knowing where to direct it. WOW! This was powerful! In so many ways I think most parents and children grow through difficulties together. I too was angry with my parents for many years. I believe that’s normal on one level, and probably compounded by the things your parents went through. What happened to them impacted their relationship with you. I was angry with my my parents for different reasons. Then one day last summer my mom shared something so profound it took my breath away. I never stopped to think how it was for her, or that she actually regretted her own actions to THIS very day. Then I counted back and realized — My God she was much younger than me when certain things happened. She did the best she could with what she knew. She loved me and parented me the best she could. That’s all we can ask. I know you’ve been a good daughter to your parents, even though you feel anger inside. Relationships can be so complex.

In your case, though, I guess the anger is not so much at your parents but at the situation that caused your parents’ suffering and the loss you suffered because of what your entire family lost? That’s much worse. I wouldn’t expect you to be free of anger. I suppose the hard part is knowing where to direct it.

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