A Radical Sabbatical

It hasn’t been easy to be back in the classroom and it has nothing to do with my age.  The college classrooms are just not set up for people with hearing losses.  I was wrong when I said they were.

On this typical day in class, I am having an exceptionally hard time making out what my Spanish Professor is saying.  My speech discrimination is very poor with all the distractions.  The Professor knows I am hearing impaired but the classroom is stifling hot on a cold winters day, the windows are wide open to get some fresh air.  The sounds of Flatbush are screaming into the room, the door to the hallway is wide open and I can see and hear students laughing and screeching into their cellphones.

The lesson goes on amidst all the confusion but no one appears bothered by it all, except for me.  I continuously ask for repeats and ask a few students for a quick rerun on what was said and when the Professor notices I am having a problem, she quickly comes to my rescue and trys very hard to repeat and rephrase. 

Unfortunately, with all the background noise and her beautiful Latin American accent, I choose to nod my head and say comprendo, thinking I’ll study harder tonite and she’ll never know I didn’t hear her.

WOW! I never thought I’d be in this position again. Allowing myself to say yes when I should have said no, I don’t hear you, I am not getting it.  The college classroom is not that much different than the public schools.  In fact, it could be somewhat worse for the public school student.  There are usually metal coat and book stands in the back of the elementary and junior high classrooms and that would cause reverberation 101.

I’m not quite sure why, but this whole thing has affected me and made me feel really lousy about my hearing loss and my poor speech discrimination.   I suddenly feel as though, hey! maybe I’m missing out on more than I realize.  It’s quite a blow to the ego.

I wondered what it was like to hear everything that was being said, I haven’t thought about that in ages.  I wondered what it was like to get the message the first time around and to laugh at the same time everyone else laughs.  I question what it would be like to rarely ask for repeats and never worry about hearing whats being said.  Suddenly, I am wondering whether I have been fooling myself to believe that I have been getting along okay. Suddenly it hit me, I might not be.

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