A Radical Sabbatical

In all the years I’ve been making Rosh Hashana lunch for my friends, I always had to compete with work to prepare the meal.  I would shop and prepare various dishes for several days before the holidays, rarely putting any real effort into it because I was forever tired.  It became a chore and it was no longer enjoyable.  In the end, I usually landed up running to Tov U Mativ for chickens and feeling like I let myself down.

This year, having 23 guests (not counting the one year old), I had more than amble time to plan a menu, strategize the table settings and all I had to hope for, was that the weather would turn out pleasant.  At least pleasant enough to put everyone outside on the deck for lunch and have a radically good time.

How much luckier could I get this week? I left all the cooking for Wednesday, something I rarely did in the past.  Lunch would be on Thursday but all my preparation work would be complete by Wednesday.  Being on a sabbatical certainly has its advantages when you’re having company.

Thursday arrived and the weather was gorgeous.  I think my friends saw our plates, silverware and wine glasses for the first time….lol.   I wanted everything used.  The flowers were beautiful, the table settings were pretty and the company was terrific.  Only thing that would have made this day perfect would have been if Thaniel were home and part of the New Year celebration. 

Though the years have certainly taken a toll on me, there was a deep satisfaction in being able to prepare a meal for 23 people from beginning to end. Sure there are people out there who do this simultaneously while working full time jobs.  But I never admitted to being superwoman and I’m the first to admit, its alot less stressful to do all of this when you don’t have another job on your back.

Oh yea, the food was pretty good too. I decided to drop the traditional meal and go a bit radical with cerviche, vegetarian stew, Israeli couscous, mushroom quinoa, BBQ’ed Salmon, moroccan chicken with hot and sweet tomato sauce and a bowl of new fruit.  .  .  .  yea, there’s a time to cook and a time to prepare but the best time is when you’re on a sabbatical.

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Hmmm, my college son tells me not to wait until the last minute to study.  Today is Friday and it’s already 7:32 p.m. and I haven’t picked up my Spanish textbook to review for the test.  The test is this Monday.  Have I waited to long? or will the material absorb better at this rate if I start studying now?  I think I’ll do what I use to do, put the textbook under my pillow…..and hope osmosis works.

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OMG, I have not studied for a test in years.  No, I take that back, I have not studied for a test in three decades (that sounded alot worse).  I have a Spanish quiz on Monday and an Anatomy test on Wednesday.  I am actually trying to figure out what to tell the Professor of my Anatomy class if I bail out on Wednesday.  I came up with the following excuses:

-my bird ate the pages of the book I was suppose to study from and while he did that, the book fell and knocked my computer off the table and therefore I could not access the notes that the Professor put up on the blackboard.

-my uncle died and I was very close to him

-my aunt died and I was very close to her

-I got food poisoning over the holidays and couldn’t study

-I cooked for the holidays and accidentally spilled borcht all over the books

-The kids needed my attention and I couldn’t study

-My husband needed my attention and I had to choose between him and studying so I flipped a coin and he won

-I had company over the holidays.  As we were leaving for tashlich, I realized we had no bread so we took all my notes to use in place of the bread.  The notes went into the ocean for a very good cause. 

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I can’t allow today to go by without commenting on 9/11.  Can someone please tell me why the U.S. has yet to find Bin Laden? Last week an article in the New York Times stated that Government officials noticed that in a video of Bin Laden his beard appeared darker.   DUH!  Is this what we pay our hard earned taxes for? To give us such brilliant observations?

Citizens of the U.S. give me a break here.  Bin Laden could have had an extreme makeover by now.  But his being a touch smarter than dubya, Bin Laden could walk right pass dubya in his garb and not be recognized.

I am whole heartedly convinced that we will never find him.  Why? because someone or several people in our government have too much invested in the mid-east and if we went after Bin Laden, it would cause that relationship to go sour.  Someone is partnered with someone in the middle east making alot of money and they don’t want to rock the boat.

I only see one solution to this whole situation.  The only way to repay the Americans and Non-Americans who lost their loved ones on that awful day is through revenge.   Hire the Israeli army to search and destroy Bin Laden.   Its the only answer to resolving this whole matter.  I want to see the American people repaid for all their misery since 9/11.  For all the people who’s lives were snuffed out painfully while we watched them go down, helplessly. 

So you’re probably wondering how could a nice, jewish, peaceful 60’s girl have turned so hateful? It was easy.  Dubya was elected President of the U.S. and I grew up! 

With the Jewish New Year upon many of us, I can only hope that this year will bring us all the peace and health we deserve, the happiness and love from your families and friends and a good life.   L’shana tova!

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Along with all the other things I want to do while on this sabbatical is that I decided to get radical with my hair and let it grow.  Oh MAN, I can hear my girlfriends moaning and groaning about this decision! Sorry guys but I’m letting it grow, so get use to it and move on. Eventually I’ll get a trim but for now, I’m letting it all hangout. 

How is it that some mature women have the hair of a twenty year old and the rest of us have no hair?  The hair magazines always manage to find mature women (okay, older women) with the best head of hair.  How about showing us what u can do with hair like mine? or even my mothers hair?  All ten strands of it.

I would also love to grow four inches taller this year but I’m not sure that its scientifically possible?  If I were taller everything else on my body would be more evenly distributed and I could stop giving Weight Watchers, The Zone, Suzanne Sommers and all those diet programs my business.  I should be a stock owner in all these companies.  I could have been very rich  if they had given me stock everytime I lost five lbs instead of a sticker. I mean give me a break.  Do I look like someone who feels good about getting a sticker on my weight card?

People think its so easy to exert will power over food.  They act as if its as simple as changing from Clark Kent to Superman.  Hey people WAKE UP and smell the chocolate cake.  Its not easy when you’re confronted by food day in and day out and it doesn’t get any easier when we reach menapause. 

Have you ever tried pushing your car while its in the parking gear?  Well thats what its like trying to lose weight while in menapause.   And why is it that all our problems have the word MEN in it? huh!  men-apause, men-stral cycle, men-struate, men-tal illness.   Guys give us a break!  Have u guys ever gotten  women-prostate problems?  women-bowel syndrome?  woman-angina?  woman-erectile dysfunction?  NO, we just don’t give u the headaches that we have.

But getting back to weighty issues.  Don’t get me wrong there are some beautiful women out there with big, beautiful bodies and they look absolutely gorgeous. But I don’t look like them. Did you ever look at the ads for big women’s clothes?  Those models do not look anything like me.  They’re tall.  I’m short. They can wear heels and make themselves taller.  I can wear heels and give myself knee problems for a week.  They have good hair, I don’t.    In anycase, who designs those clothes? It has to be someone who’s color blind.  Why would I want to wear gigantic lillies or lilacs on my shirt?  Or paisley neon green?   I don’t need clothes to get attention and I  don’t want to look like I got hit by a bus.    Why in gods name would I want to wear a dress that looks like it was hit by three dozen eggs?  Or a baby blue jacket with tiny little balloon designs?  Just because we’re big, doesn’t mean we want to look like a float.

I mean, come on designer people, get your act together.  Some of those colors you’re putting together would look better in the Thanksgiving Macys Day Parade floating in the air on a string.  We want soft and solid colors and we dont want shoulders that hang down to our elbows or shirts that fall to the knees.  And what in gods name is it with those V-necks? I know some women like cleavage  as do I, but hey, give me a break. Those necklines come down to my navel and until I come back with Grace Jones chest and Tina Turners legs, I have no intentions of looking like the next drag queen for GQ.

Okay, enough on the fashion and hair industry.  Stay tune for more on life.

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Hola, llama Senora Perla.  Como Se llama usted?  Yo lleva pantalones y blusa negra. Que ropa lleva hoy? Tienes un boligrafo rojo? Yo no tienes un boligrafo rojo.  Como el pelo? los ojos? la nariz? las orejas? la boca? el cuello? la cara? la cabeza? los pies? Comprendez?  

Welcome to my world on mondays and wednesdays…lol  Spanish was a riot today.  Lots of interaction and only in Spanish.  Its amazing how receptive skills come first and loud and clear.

Today in Anatomy we were given an unofficial open book test. In other words, it doesnt count.  What I don’t understand, is how the majority of the class can fail an open book test? Then again, this is anatomy where phrases and words can sound almost Latin.

Remember way back when, we use to sing, “the hip bones connected to the……”   Well, the truth is, in attempting to memorize all the medical terms we were given, its much easier to understand the function of each part in order to understand what they are connected to and then remember the actual words.  OMG, I actually learned something today. 

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Went looking for a bookbag to carry my pricey books.  There were several like the camouflage one that looked like I should be enlisting in the Army.  Then there were the ones with all the sports themes on them.  Some were capable of carrying your books and some were capable of carrying your books, lunch, dinner and a bottle of champagne.  The $100 bookbag on wheels would have been perfect had I wanted to look as if I was the maintenance person for a xerox machine. 

Needless to say, Ed and I landed up going to Staples and I am now the proud owner of the coolest bookbag on campus.  My bookbag is made with in-line skate wheels that can handle speeds up to 25 m.p.h.  Can u imagine that?   Honestly, what the heck does one do with a bookbag that can roll at speeds of 25 m.p.h.?  and where might I ask, would one be going speeding the bookbag? or is it the bookbag speeding? Do u get on a highway?  Are u required to pay tolls?  I mean, come on!  Do they really expect buyers to believe this stuff.  Okay, okay, so I bought into this but its really a cool bag.  I think what also sold me was the handle.

The handle looks like a stick shift in a car, just bigger.  All my bag needs now, is a platform to stand on and a small 4 cylinder engine that is solar powered, and I can drive this thing around campus.   I wonder if its legal to navigate the campus at 25 m.p.h?  afterall, I don’t even know how to roller skate.

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So, you’re probably asking yourself, what does Pearl do with her free time when she’s not attending classes, or required labs, or doing homework, or listening to Spanish radio, or watching spanish soap operas or blogging? or even running errands for her parents?

Well first off, I’m going to learn how to swim this year.  That’s right, I have never learned to swim.  Well actually, thats not true.  I have taken swimming lessons many times in the past but I just could not conquer my fear of going in the deep water. 

However, I want to learn.  There have been many occassions in my life where I stood at the edge of a pool and wanted to dive in.  Haven’t you ever wanted to do something that you felt was not obtainable at the moment?  Something absolutely out of the ordinary in your life?  My son recently went skydiving.  Man oh man, I give him so much credit for taking that first step in actually going ahead and making the appointment and doing it.  I thought it was awesome that he did it and now he can move on (with both feet planted on the ground).  He got it out of his system and thank god he did because I would not be able to handle his taking this up as a sport.  

My first swimming class will be at the end of this month.  I know I can float.  Its something I do very well in fact….lol  I don’t think I have to worry about sinking to the bottom.  All I would have to do is roll over on my back and just float.  Nature takes its course with some of us, I guess.

I don’t think my life could ever be in the slow lane.  I have way too many things I want to do.  Way too many things I want to see and way too many people I want to play with. 

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I just don’t know how I ever found the time to do all that I had to do and work a full time job prior to this sabbatical?  I am so busy these days, that my head is spinning.  I can’t imagine how I raised two kids, took care of a house and a husband, worked full time in addition to working over-time and most recently, a second job, and did all that needed to get done?  well, maybe, I never did all that needed to get done…lol.  But I certainly have two terrific grown children who have given me a lot less agita than my parents (god bless them).

I’ve totally forgotten the feeling of partying all night and then having to go through a full day of college classes.  Well, I was quickly reminded this week but the morning after partying feelings were not the same today as they were 30 years ago.  We had our nieces’s wedding this week, on a Tuesday no less, but lots of fun in Lakewood, New Jersey.  Wednesday is my long day of classes, thru 8:00 p.m.

Sitting in class I felt as though I wanted to roll over and go to sleep. My hand barely made it up when my name was called for attendance.  I don’t remember feeling this way back when.  Then again, I don’t remember attending very many classes either.  Just remember the hanging out at student government, partying, discussing politics and partying, protesting the Vietnam war, meeting at local bars and partying.  But classes?  I don’t even remember buying textbooks or ever needing a bookbag!

Going to College is definitely an experience in your later years.  I am taking 11 credits and had I known I would have to carry all the books that I am required to bring to class, I would have chosen my courses more carefully and chosen the courses on the basis of the weight of the textbooks.

 OMG, my bookbag must weigh at least 30 lbs.  I have tried out several bookbags as well as dorky briefcases and let me tell you, I am in the wrong business.  I should be selling those bookbags on wheels.  I never thought I’d see the day that I would be schlepping around a bookbag on wheels but I am definitely going back to the stores to look for one. 

Speaking of textbooks, we all know how expensive these books are.  Well, I was hoping to salvage my book by not writing in it and selling it back online or selling it to another student.  Yesterday in Spanish, I couldn’t help myself.  The Professor made a very important point and had I written it down in my notebook, I would have never ever remembered the connection to the statement in the text.   So with a great deal of hesitance, I wrote in my pricey textbook, rationalizing the whole time, that I was helping the next student who purchased this book.  The mother in me was just glowing.

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Well, needless to say, I felt more comfortable the second day than the first. The main reason for this is because I finalized my registration and managed to coordinate my class schedule. My second day at college was most interesting as they had all the clubs out on the Quad. I couldn’t help but want to look at what was available and possibly join a club. thats right, join a student group.  Who would reject me? I’m fun loving…. I love to party, I’m bright….. I love to party, I’m articulate…. and I love to party. What other ingredients do u need? In anycase, having been a real rebel back in the 70’s on campus and forever hooking up with student governments, I wanted to look at clubs that I never had the opportunity to look at or would have ever thought of joining back in the 70’s. mmmm, i passed so many tables……so many choices these days…..The accounting society - I dont think so, the alpha Epsilon phi sorority and  fraternity, the alpha phi delta fraternity the alpha sigma sorority and fraternity. Nah, it’s all greek to me!

The black family organization, the black graduate professionals, the black solidarity committee the black student union, somehow I don’t think I’ll blend in here.

hmmm, the College Cheerleading Club.  I always wanted to be a cheerleader and be part of a cheerleading squad. YES! but pink is not exactly my color….but they give u pom pom’s.

give me a B….give me an R…..

I can just see me doing hand stands and splits, bobbing up and down on the football field. I can also see someone mistaking me for the school mascot or after one of those splits, needing a chiropractor.

Well there must have been over 100 student organizations and not one that I  felt I could relate to while on a sabbatical.  I went home thinking, hmm, it would be a really nice year if I could find a club to become involved with.  Something where I could again, have fun on the college campus.

Sitting with my girlfriends the other day and drinking our Pinot, I suddenly screeched, I can start a SABBATICAL SISTER SORORITY CLUB.  We can do car washes to raise money and dance and sing and just have a blast. My girlfriends laughed and looked at me wildly and agreed a sabbatical sisters group would be fun for the year.

So next week, I’m headed for the student union to find out how to start a  club. Certainly, there must be others like myself who want to really be back on campus and spend some time with fellow sisters chatting, drinking tequilla and Mateus straight from the bottle, smoking cigarettes, talking about men, listening to Janis Ian and the Beatles and just thinking about today and feeling immortal…..at least, for one year.

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