A Radical Sabbatical

I can’t allow today to go by without commenting on 9/11.  Can someone please tell me why the U.S. has yet to find Bin Laden? Last week an article in the New York Times stated that Government officials noticed that in a video of Bin Laden his beard appeared darker.   DUH!  Is this what we pay our hard earned taxes for? To give us such brilliant observations?

Citizens of the U.S. give me a break here.  Bin Laden could have had an extreme makeover by now.  But his being a touch smarter than dubya, Bin Laden could walk right pass dubya in his garb and not be recognized.

I am whole heartedly convinced that we will never find him.  Why? because someone or several people in our government have too much invested in the mid-east and if we went after Bin Laden, it would cause that relationship to go sour.  Someone is partnered with someone in the middle east making alot of money and they don’t want to rock the boat.

I only see one solution to this whole situation.  The only way to repay the Americans and Non-Americans who lost their loved ones on that awful day is through revenge.   Hire the Israeli army to search and destroy Bin Laden.   Its the only answer to resolving this whole matter.  I want to see the American people repaid for all their misery since 9/11.  For all the people who’s lives were snuffed out painfully while we watched them go down, helplessly. 

So you’re probably wondering how could a nice, jewish, peaceful 60’s girl have turned so hateful? It was easy.  Dubya was elected President of the U.S. and I grew up! 

With the Jewish New Year upon many of us, I can only hope that this year will bring us all the peace and health we deserve, the happiness and love from your families and friends and a good life.   L’shana tova!

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Along with all the other things I want to do while on this sabbatical is that I decided to get radical with my hair and let it grow.  Oh MAN, I can hear my girlfriends moaning and groaning about this decision! Sorry guys but I’m letting it grow, so get use to it and move on. Eventually I’ll get a trim but for now, I’m letting it all hangout. 

How is it that some mature women have the hair of a twenty year old and the rest of us have no hair?  The hair magazines always manage to find mature women (okay, older women) with the best head of hair.  How about showing us what u can do with hair like mine? or even my mothers hair?  All ten strands of it.

I would also love to grow four inches taller this year but I’m not sure that its scientifically possible?  If I were taller everything else on my body would be more evenly distributed and I could stop giving Weight Watchers, The Zone, Suzanne Sommers and all those diet programs my business.  I should be a stock owner in all these companies.  I could have been very rich  if they had given me stock everytime I lost five lbs instead of a sticker. I mean give me a break.  Do I look like someone who feels good about getting a sticker on my weight card?

People think its so easy to exert will power over food.  They act as if its as simple as changing from Clark Kent to Superman.  Hey people WAKE UP and smell the chocolate cake.  Its not easy when you’re confronted by food day in and day out and it doesn’t get any easier when we reach menapause. 

Have you ever tried pushing your car while its in the parking gear?  Well thats what its like trying to lose weight while in menapause.   And why is it that all our problems have the word MEN in it? huh!  men-apause, men-stral cycle, men-struate, men-tal illness.   Guys give us a break!  Have u guys ever gotten  women-prostate problems?  women-bowel syndrome?  woman-angina?  woman-erectile dysfunction?  NO, we just don’t give u the headaches that we have.

But getting back to weighty issues.  Don’t get me wrong there are some beautiful women out there with big, beautiful bodies and they look absolutely gorgeous. But I don’t look like them. Did you ever look at the ads for big women’s clothes?  Those models do not look anything like me.  They’re tall.  I’m short. They can wear heels and make themselves taller.  I can wear heels and give myself knee problems for a week.  They have good hair, I don’t.    In anycase, who designs those clothes? It has to be someone who’s color blind.  Why would I want to wear gigantic lillies or lilacs on my shirt?  Or paisley neon green?   I don’t need clothes to get attention and I  don’t want to look like I got hit by a bus.    Why in gods name would I want to wear a dress that looks like it was hit by three dozen eggs?  Or a baby blue jacket with tiny little balloon designs?  Just because we’re big, doesn’t mean we want to look like a float.

I mean, come on designer people, get your act together.  Some of those colors you’re putting together would look better in the Thanksgiving Macys Day Parade floating in the air on a string.  We want soft and solid colors and we dont want shoulders that hang down to our elbows or shirts that fall to the knees.  And what in gods name is it with those V-necks? I know some women like cleavage  as do I, but hey, give me a break. Those necklines come down to my navel and until I come back with Grace Jones chest and Tina Turners legs, I have no intentions of looking like the next drag queen for GQ.

Okay, enough on the fashion and hair industry.  Stay tune for more on life.

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